September 3rd. It’s the day I go back to work. Right now I have mixed emotions, sometimes I get really excited and other times a little nervous. I’m excited because I love my job, it feels impactful and makes me proud.
Working for the MS Society
Working with the MS Society has been really rewarding to me. I get to talk with people who have been recently diagnosed and try to communicate that a diagnosis is not the end- merely a label for what is happening inside your body. I get to communicate that there are tools and resources available. I try and be transparent about how some days are difficult but difficult isn’t impossible. I get to run a program that allows me to match people who have recently been diagnosed with volunteers who are living with MS.
My job allows me to feel like I can provide assistance to people who may be experiencing the same confusion as I had when I was diagnosed in 2007. Having the opportunity to make their transition, in this scary time, a little easier makes me proud.
But I’m also nervous. Sometimes I have a little ‘chemo fog’ and fatigue. Other times I have really bad headaches or just can’t sleep. I’m worried my body and mind aren’t ready to stop having their only purpose be recovery.
But even though I’m nervous, I also recognize how lucky I am. If there is any company in the world that can understand the impacts of HSCT it’s the MS Society. So we’ve developed a strategy. I’m lucky that I can work from home to avoid germs and have access to quiet spaces and I am also planning on starting back a little slowly. The plan is, to begin with, half days and work up to full time. Right now I think that the timeline for this will depend on my body, my recovery, and how I feel.
I get to go back to work next week. I get to stop being so bored. I get to take baby steps back to feeling normal. Wish me luck, this is a big step for me.